Going through a divorce when you share minor children with your spouse is a complicated situation, even under the best circumstances. If things are contentious between you and your ex, the situation can become downright unbearable.
Because stress between parents can have a direct impact on children, it’s likely beneficial if you and your ex can find ways to get along. This doesn’t mean that you have to be best friends, but you do need to be able to work as a team to raise your children if you’ll be co-parenting as you move forward.
Communicate with respect
Effective communication is crucial during a contentious divorce, especially when children are involved. Try to keep conversations focused on the needs and well-being of the children. Using respectful and neutral language can help reduce conflict and facilitate cooperative decision-making.
Consider using written communication methods, like emails or texts, to keep conversations clear and documented. Try to avoid letting emotions dictate the dialogue and be willing to step back to calm down when things get too heated.
Prioritize the children
During a contentious divorce, it’s essential to prioritize the best interests of the children. They need a supportive environment that’s stable. All decisions should be based, at least in significant part, on what the children need.
All decisions that are made about the children should be based on what they need. This isn’t the time to think about what will make your life easier or your ex’s life more difficult, unless those challenges will impact your ability to parent effectively. The past grievances that you have with your ex may need to be put aside so you can focus on what your children need.
Set up your parenting plan
A parenting plan contains the information about what’s expected of each parent regarding the children. Setting the terms of your family’s parenting plan might not be easy. Working with a legal representative who can help you to determine what to include may take some of the uncertainty out of the situation and enable you to set things up so your parenting model is beneficial for the kids as your family situation evolves.